Jetblack
04-10-2008, 05:40 PM
I am going to use the latest transposon recombinant DNA technology to insert a gene into all starlings, sparrows, grackles, pidgeons, doves, blackbirds and robins. This will be germ cell technology so all birds will forever be infected and so will their offspring!
The new gene will cause them to crap clear car wax.
From now on, you will be able to let birds crap on your car to their heart's content. Park under powerlines! Park under trees! Park under freakin' bird feeders!!!
When they are done you can also use my special Koi fish/carp virus to fill the local water supply reservoir with spot-free rinse-making fish!!!!
Simply buff your car, only once a year, to a high shine.
Coming soon, V2.0 will infect seagulls and V2.1 will infect GEESE! You will be able to park next to light poles, in large parking lots and let the seagulls "go to town" as is their nature. When the geese are migrating in Spring and Fall, you can drive under them with confidence and pleasure. You will actually hope they initiate "bombs away", over your hood!
Phase II will incorporate pidgeon, raven and crow-made de-icer for nothern climates and de-icing in those tough to reach places like under bridges and around buildings and parking lots with concrete parking dividers.
Phase III will be virus-infected bugs that are filled with Rain-X and Goof-Off so they clean their own mess and make your windshield rain resistant! This same virus, when eaten by fish, will manifest itself in the form of spot-free rinse urine.
Your community can then pump water right from the reservoir, into your sprinkler and you can turn it on your car, all night. In the morning your car is gleaming, beading and free of water spots!
I'll open a PayPal account for donations to my Viral R&D Program.
Thank you for any financial help in making this a reality. Let Science Make Your Life Better!
David Buschhorn
BAC, LLC.
Big American Corp is a subsidiary of Huge American Conglomerate, all rights reserved.
The new gene will cause them to crap clear car wax.
From now on, you will be able to let birds crap on your car to their heart's content. Park under powerlines! Park under trees! Park under freakin' bird feeders!!!
When they are done you can also use my special Koi fish/carp virus to fill the local water supply reservoir with spot-free rinse-making fish!!!!
Simply buff your car, only once a year, to a high shine.
Coming soon, V2.0 will infect seagulls and V2.1 will infect GEESE! You will be able to park next to light poles, in large parking lots and let the seagulls "go to town" as is their nature. When the geese are migrating in Spring and Fall, you can drive under them with confidence and pleasure. You will actually hope they initiate "bombs away", over your hood!
Phase II will incorporate pidgeon, raven and crow-made de-icer for nothern climates and de-icing in those tough to reach places like under bridges and around buildings and parking lots with concrete parking dividers.
Phase III will be virus-infected bugs that are filled with Rain-X and Goof-Off so they clean their own mess and make your windshield rain resistant! This same virus, when eaten by fish, will manifest itself in the form of spot-free rinse urine.
Your community can then pump water right from the reservoir, into your sprinkler and you can turn it on your car, all night. In the morning your car is gleaming, beading and free of water spots!
I'll open a PayPal account for donations to my Viral R&D Program.
Thank you for any financial help in making this a reality. Let Science Make Your Life Better!
David Buschhorn
BAC, LLC.
Big American Corp is a subsidiary of Huge American Conglomerate, all rights reserved.